– Marianne Williamson

Those of you who are regular readers of my column know that I have experienced profound growth, and change, during these last ten years. Having turned 60 in May, I’ve been deeply reflecting as I continue to seek clarity for and awareness of how to continue to develop the most brilliant version of myself, and making everyday count.

I used to look at parts of my past with regret. Today I can reframe those beliefs and know all that wasn’t easy is truly a valuable life lesson. I realized that what needed to change needed to be validated first.

What follows are a few of my favorites….
1. Being truly nourished has nothing to do with food. I spent the better part of the last 30 years counting calories, carbs and fat grams. While I couldn’t balance my checkbook I was a wiz at calculating every morsel that passed my lips. I now know what keeps me nourished and in the flow of life are the relationships I cultivate and nurture, the purpose I have as I set out each day, the way I honor the healthy body I am blessed with, and my faith in the Universe.

2. Failure and mistakes are not the lack of success, but the growing pains of wisdom. I may be disappointed if something I want doesn’t pan out but if I don’t try, there is no chance of it happening at all. Rebounding after rejection or something not working out inevitably redirects me to something better. I’ve learned that not everything has to be perfect; life’s twists and turns will strengthen me.

3. Fear is something I create. It exists only in my mind and can prevent me from growing into my best self. Up until recently, I feared any situation that created discomfort. By allowing myself to believe the lie that is fear, I became stuck in the cycle of imagining worst case scenarios. Fear created a sense of not being good enough, otherwise known as the impostor syndrome. I can now see fear for the lie that it is, take a deep breath and live my truth.

4. Expectation is resentment waiting to happen. Letting go of my attachment to expectation was very liberating as I’ve learned to rely on myself. This was a tough one for me and, honestly, one I work on daily. Expectations from myself or others do not serve me well. Everyone is not going to react as I might, or have the same point of view, or live up to my ideals.

5. I deserve to talk to myself as though I am my most significant other. Negative self talk is something so many of us are too quick to indulge in. I am the creator of my feelings. My self-talk can be empowering and encouraging, as I would talk to a beloved child, friend, partner or client. This kind of behavior helps to nurture an inner peace, creating a space of sacred solitude to continually return to. It is in this place I can find comfort from any storm. I can be my own best friend rather than my own worst enemy.

6. I need not be addicted to my story. Yes, where I’ve been, what I’ve witnessed and experienced has created a myriad of thoughts, feelings and beliefs. For a long time I lived as though I was a prisoner of that story. Today I own it but I can respectfully let go of the parts that no longer serve me well. This happened as I learned to accept what was, find compassion for the behaviors, thoughts, feelings and beliefs I needed to rely on to get through some painful times. It was the best I could do then. Letting go, while challenging and downright difficult at times is the best way to move forward.

7. I can create my own definition of happily ever after, letting go of a past that has no future. 30, 20, or even 10 years ago I never could have imagined my life would have taken the turn it was going to. As I married at 21, it was going to be a fairy tale life. That is was, but for too short a time. Widowed at 49, I entered my fifties needing to develop an entire new skill set. Today I am extraordinarily happy as I’m immersed and engaged in a life whose terms I have defined. With a new marriage, a successfully blended family that has blessed us with 8 grandchildren, a growing coaching practice, I can acknowledge the extraordinary loss but I choose to overshadow it with the eternal light that comes with love and laughter. I can trust the healthiest part of myself to know what is right for me. I can let myself feel without the fear that uncomfortable feelings will bring me to my knees, and if they do, I am confidant that I’ll rise up stronger than before.

Moving forward, embracing change, taking chances and loving life is indeed a fully nourished life.

What do you know now that you didn’t before, as a result of growth and transformation? I’d love to hear your epiphanies. Please email me!

With love and light…
Xo
Mindy