Did you wake up today asking, “what do I feel like eating this morning?” or did you start the day with a set of food rules? Can you honor your hunger? Feel your fullness? Challenge the food police, respect your body? Where are pleasure and satisfaction in your food choices and mealtime experiences?

I bring this up today as we look forward to Thanksgiving and the ensuing days of family gatherings, holiday parties and celebration. These occasions often stir up feelings which trigger either restricting (in response to guilt) or binge behaviors (as a direct result of feeling deprived). Restricting food we desire and feeling bad when we eat it is commonplace. Taking pleasure in food is often described as indulging; and doing so in front of others with gusto is often interpreted as gluttony. What’s missing from this scenario is satisfaction…and we become aware of being satisfied and satiated only when we are present and mindful of the experience. This is true in everything we do…food, relationships and career- if we aren’t satisfied we aren’t happy. Abraham Maslow teaches that we are driven by our unmet needs. We want what we can’t have and will do whatever it takes to address and calm down the sense of deprivation that shows up when our needs are not satisfied. When it comes to food and you want ice cream, sorbet isn’t going to do the trick. Alternately, if you want the sorbet but eat the ice cream because it’s a “cheat” day and you’ve already eaten a bagel so you may as well go all the way and start again tomorrow, you won’t be satisfied either.

When you think about improving your relationship to, and experience with food, it becomes easier when you learn to be present with and grateful for the food you eat. To eat mindfully, you need to slow down and pay attention to every bite. By truly tasting what you’re eating and noticing the subtle flavors and textures, you can begin to relate to food and your body in a healthier way. What ensues is the satisfaction you’ll feel when you honor your hunger and allow for the realization that you’ve had enough.

Mindfulness at the table means being physically, emotionally and spiritually present. It allows for pleasure to be the dominant experience as you savor the taste, texture and complexity of the food before you.

Honor yourself by allowing for pleasure from the bounty of the season, let joy envelop you at and away from the table and know that you CAN be trusted to know what’s right for your body. All you need to do is slow down, quiet the noise of messages from the past that need not be part of your future, and listen.

In this excerpt from my book, The Freedom Promise: 7 Steps To Stop Fearing What Food Will Do TO You and Start Embracing What It Can Do FOR You, you’ll gain insight to how eating mindfully, with presence, can not only aid digestion, allow for nutrient assimilation and enhanced metabolism, but will create an experience for you to gain awareness of your satiety and fullness – letting pleasure in and pushing the obsessive guilt out.

When our attention is directed outside of our bodies, we can’t possibly experience the physical sensations connected with food. We can’t sense when we are full, the deliciousness of the food, or even if we don’t like it.

When we question what we are eating, focusing our awareness on the fat and calories we perceive to be in our food, we can’t be mindful of the food or the experience. As when we talk to a friend who isn’t paying attention, we leave the experience feeling incomplete and wanting more.

The cephalic phase digestive response is actually a nutritional requirement. The brain must experience taste, pleasure, aroma, and satisfaction in order to assess and begin our most efficient digestive force. When we eat too fast or neglect to notice our food, the brain interprets this missed experience as hunger. We then reach for more food. The less awareness we bring to the table, the more we will need to eat. When we eat while distracted by outside stimuli, we don’t even taste the food. Our brain screams, “I want more.”

The same phenomenon occurs when we are distracted with thoughts of guilt, shame, and fear over our food choices. Our bodies will not notice the donut, piece of chocolate, or bowl of pasta. What we thought we wanted can’t bring any satisfaction; it’s hard to empower ourselves with choice when we don’t really let ourselves have it in the first place.

One of the most effective strategies for developing a healthy relationship with food through mindfulness is embodiment. Embodiment allows us to inhabit our bodies so we can honor and respect the space where we can feel relaxed and empowered. In this space we experience pleasure. In this space we feel present to the heightened physical sensations of eating without guilt or shame about what we are eating.

Practicing mindfulness and embodiment at the table keeps us from using food to check out. Embodiment reflects the wisdom of our bodies and how aligned we are with them. We can only eat what we want, when we want it when we include our bodies in the conversation. To rely on anything external such as the scale or a distorted image of our selves distracts from mindfulness and embodiment […]

Whatever we weigh, we are entitled to find pleasure and joy in our food, just as we are entitled to find pleasure and joy in all we do. Loving food is to smell it, taste it, and savor it. A love affair with food gives new meaning to eating emotionally. That’s right, you are reading correctly—emotional eating can be wonderful. Eating with emotion as opposed to eating in order to deal with emotion is incredible. When you eat, eat and experience the wonder and complexity of food as you experience freedom.

From the book The Freedom Promise: 7 Steps to Stop Fearing What Food Will Do to You and Start Embracing What It Can Do for You. Copyright © 2014 >Mindy Gorman-Plutzer. Order your copy today from Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble.com, iBooks or Balboa Press.com