If relationships nourish us, what does your relationship with food say about how nourished you truly are?

For so many of us our relationship with food has a lot of drama. That drama brings with it confusion, and, for some, shame about our desire to eat. We have become proficient at suppressing and ignoring our appetites for fear it will take us down a path of destruction.

I work with thin people who view food as something to be conquered and controlled. I work with people who carry excess weight and view food as the demon that’s the cause of their shame and misery. Many of my clients have complex chronic health issues that result in disassociation from their pain, thus their bodies, their hunger.

As a result, our behaviors with food become disordered and disorganized as we are mired in faulty beliefs about what food will do to us. Willing ourselves not to eat then becomes an expression of self care. Or is it more like self-destruction?

Appetite is life. We need to eat to not only survive, but to thrive. When we accept this and embrace it, we can let go of the fear-based thoughts and re-frame them to promote a relationship with food that is joyous, loving and free. Such a relationship has profound effects on our physical and emotional health.

As with any relationship that is worth nurturing and saving, we must spend quality time with it. When we slow down, take time to recognize and respect the needs and wisdom of our bodies, we can eat foods that both nourish and nurture. Denying hunger and our bodies’ messages, set us up for cravings that are legitimate in that we’ve created nutritional deficiencies that can be out-smarted for only so long.

Nutritional deficiencies will present in other ways-mood swings and anxiety are often signs of low or fluctuating blood sugar. Immunity can be affected when we are low in essential nutrients. Sleep patterns, mental focus and clarity are compromised, not to mention energy levels. The stress that ensues just keeps the cycle going- feeling guilt and shame around eating negatively affects digestion, nutrient assimilation and metabolism. The very thing we are desperate to overcome is perpetuated.

A successful relationship starts with our relationship to ourselves; one that is built on acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and trust. We can only affect the change we want for our health and well-being when we set the intention and get support to see it through. We can start to trust ourselves with food when we honor our hungers, looking at where we may be deficient in all areas of our lives.

Relax into the experience, the uncertainty, the exhilaration of the journey for this is where the healing begins.