In my work I am privileged to help clients make sense of their confusion and allay their fears around food and what it will do to them or calm the fear they have surrounding how they will react if they allow themselves to have what they really want.

I listen to the beliefs they carry about themselves that serve no purpose other than to keep them from moving forward. Yes, certain foods can be addictive to many and yes, the vast array of processed foods on the shelves has power to take us to other places when we need to check out.

With that said, most of our food challenges are not about food. I believe that overeating is not tied to a problem with willpower; Nor do I believe binge eating means you have no control; nor do I believe that excess weight means you need to eat less and exercise more.

What I know to be true is that these challenges are merely symptoms of issues that keep you from moving forward.

Are you feeling stuck? Do you know you need/want to make changes but don’t know where to start? Are you afraid of failing, again? Do any of these scenarios speak to you?

• You change nothing and expect different results.– There’s a saying that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  If you want to improve yourself, you have to try new things to see what works and what doesn’t.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
• You use all or nothing thinking. – You see things in black and white categories. If a situations falls short of perfect, you see it as a failure. For example, sampling a spoonful of ice cream you tell yourself, “I’ve blown my diet” and are so upset you finish an entire quart.
• You keep waiting and waiting for the right time.– You cannot wait for the perfect time; it will never come.  If you think this moment feels like the wrong time, think again.  It’s just the voice of uncertainty.
• You’re not planning and focusing.– Do you plan your days? Why not plan your meals? Did you wake up today knowing what you wanted to accomplish?  If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.  Planning doesn’t have to be long and tedious; it can just be a 60-second process.  Every night, think about three small things that you want to accomplish tomorrow and write them down.  When you wake up in the morning, review this list before you do anything else, and then take the first step.  If you find yourself being lured to do something that’s not on that short list of three things, bring yourself back and focus.
• You make the regrettable choices of yesterday the focal point of today.– NOT believing that you CAN is the biggest lie of them all.  If you don’t know your own greatness is possible, you won’t bother attempting anything great.  All too often we let the failures of our past dictate every move we make thereafter.  Try taking more time to dig deeper in to the work that will help you grow.
• You refuse to take responsibility.– Not every sorry thing that’s happened in your life is your fault, but how you react is your responsibility.  The combination of decisions and external factors for which you had no control brought you to where you are in the world today.  Negatively blaming someone else, or some other past circumstance, will change nothing.  Positively taking full responsibility for your situation and your path forward can change everything.  Leave the unchangeable past behind you as you fully give yourself to the present moment.  Today brings every possibility you desire.  Take responsibility for it, and bring these possibilities to life.
• You want things to be perfect.– Every one of us is a perfectionist about something.  Learn to sense when your desire to make something perfect is preventing you from getting it done.  Realize that the idea of perfection is not only unachievable, it can destroy your otherwise productive mindset.  It will keep you running in place, feeling insane for your entire life.  If you feel like you’re running in place right now, take a break and reflect.  Think about the difference between diligent effort and perfectionism.
• You avoid the truth.– Personal transformation and growth can be remarkably rewarding, but only when the process of change is based on honesty and truth.  When you’re not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life, any attempt at transformation eventually leads to anger and frustration
• You let the opinions and actions of a few negative people define you.– Of course, there will inevitably be a few people in your life who will be critical or envious of you regardless of what you do or how well you do it. If you succeed in your weight loss goals, they make efforts to sabotage your choices. When you’re embarking on something that is important to you, stand in your value. Instead of listening to the few critics that try to bring you down, surround yourself with people who are willing to support your efforts and lovingly acknowledge your achievements.
• You are holding on to something that’s not real.– Let go of what was never really there.  Your intuition knows what I’m referring to – the voices in your head that go against the present reality.  Remind yourself that not all the messages you received work for you now, and you have to accept this, and let them go.  It’s one of the most difficult realizations to accept, to realize that you feel a sense of loss, even though you never really had what you thought you had in the first place.  The key is knowing this, learning from it, letting go and taking the next step.

It doesn’t have to be that hard. You can learn to muddle through the discomfort. Your desire to be your ideal healthy self can be realized when you let go of the fear of who you’ll be when you let go of the familiar behaviors that are no longer bringing you the result you desire and require.. Re-frame, re-invent and finally rejoice as you become the change you want to see.