What follows are the lessons learned and steps I took to stop fearing what food would do TO me (aka make me fat) and how I learned to embrace what food would do FOR me (nourish me and be a source of pleasure). It has become my mantra, of sorts, you read it on each of my blogs and newsletters. What follows is how I made it my way of life.
I adopted an attitude of gratitude and began to relax!
After more than 30 years of placing so much importance on what I weighed and the size of my thighs, I woke up to the reality that no one but me really cares what I weigh and what size my clothes are. Instead of waking up each morning, feeling how flat my stomach was and playing a guessing game about my weight on the way to the scale, I start each day in gratitude for what I have been blessed with in my life –love from family and friends that surrounds me, work that fulfills me, a heart full of treasured memories, and good health, in spite of what I did to myself for years by restricting, purging and chronic dieting.
I honor my hunger.
I no longer look at hunger as something to be denied. For so long I delayed eating because I decided I shouldn’t be hungry. Now, I rate my hunger on a scale of 1-10 and decide if I am hungry for a meal or a snack. I know the difference between physical hunger and emotional hunger. For me, compulsive eating, eating when I wasn’t hungry, happened when I was experiencing the ”nothingness void” – an unidentified feeling of boredom that came about when my hectic schedule or life’s drama quieted down. I had trouble tolerating doing nothing. I have learned to value the quiet and come to love my sacred alone time. Besides, there is always something non-food related to fill the void. (Have you changed your closets over yet? It’s a great way to purge healthfully.)
I focus on health and energy rather than weight.
I choose to eat food of the highest quality. That means real, fresh, local when possible, nutrient-dense and filled with true flavor, not manufactured flavors. Eating high quality food means that my body is receiving the vitamins, minerals, enzymes and energies it requires. I no longer scrounge around the pantry or refrigerator feeling unfulfilled and wanting more. As empowering as choice is, eating becomes empowering when quality is a priority. Where was the logic in thinking fat-free, sugar-free frozen yogurt was heaven sent?
I eat mindfully, with purpose, awareness and pleasure.
I started to put the fork down between mouthfuls and I put away the phone and iPad. Awareness lets me feel the fullness in my body as well as my mind. This applies to the after dinner treat I often enjoy – I make up my mind to eat it, do so with awareness rather than on auto pilot. What happens is I savor the experience and need less. Eating mindfully also helps you to stop when your body has had enough.
My meal planning is no longer a moral dilemma.
I threw out the concept of good food/bad food. Food is neither good nor bad – it is neutral like any other object. It’s how we use it that determines the positive or negative feelings created. I am neither a bad nor imperfect person if I choose to eat cookies, ice cream, pizza or fries. I may not like the way I feel after eating these foods but my experience will allow me to decide how to choose next time. With this knowledge, food no longer has the power I had been giving it. I let go of the hard and fast rules that were boxing me in as to what I would and would not eat. By dropping the strict rules and exposing myself to foods once forbidden, they became less desirable and less threatening.
I stopped counting!
I don’t worry about overeating when I eat mindfully, with awareness and pleasure, when hungry, choosing from healthy foods that I desire. I eat ONE meal at a time, trust my body and treat it right ONE day at a time. I eat what I truly want and I enjoy it!
I question any negativity that comes up when I look in the mirror
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Some days I look in the mirror and think I look heavier than I did the day before. When this happens I ask myself what is going on – it is not possible to gain significant weight overnight.
My thoughts and feelings have no bearing on how I treat my body.
In creating a separate container for what can be hurtful and limiting, I can acknowledge what I am feeling and remove myself from those stories. This allows me to create a loving and sacred space where I can be fully present to enjoy this big and beautiful life I have been blessed with. It is this life and all that it holds for me that truly nourishes.
It is absolutely possible to FREE yourself from years of chronic dieting, compulsive behaviors with food and thoughts about your body. You CAN:
• Discover satisfaction and pleasure in eating
• Develop a vision of yourself eating “normally” and healthfully
• Get in touch with your internal hunger cues
• Step into the body you have now and honor its wisdom by learning to listen
• Finally give yourself permission to eat anything and achieve the happy weight and body you deserve and desire
• Learn how to eat, what to eat, when to eat and why your past efforts have failed you
It is never too late – if you are 26 or 62, you can learn the life skills to be healthy, happy, successful and FREE.
You CAN feel the AMAZING things that can happen when you STOP fearing what food will do TO you and START embracing what food can do FOR you?
– Mindy
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